unparent lingo

interesting article in chicago tribune.

Child-free: The preferred term for folks who don't have kids, either by choice or because they've embraced their infertility.

Anti Gravity Matter: Refers to all the ways not having kids helps you stay younger longer.

OPCs (a.k.a. Other People's Children): Like it or not, you're going to encounter them at some point.

Poop Factory: If you've ever used this phrase to describe children, then you probably shouldn't have them.

Zombie Parents from Planet Zygote: Former friends who, since having kids, have become a major drag to be around.

Diaper Diplomacy: The fine art of ditching friends who turn into Zombie Parents from Planet Zygote.

DINKs (a.k.a. Double Income No Kids): Couples with a lot of disposable income, free time and very few cares.

Unparent: Someone who embraces their child-free existence. Unparents come in different packages, from "Career Champs" (think: Oprah) who put work before babies to "Tortured Artistes" like Walt Whitman.

Child Substitute: Often a dog or cat, but can be anything that fulfills your need to nurture.

Forget-You-Nots: DNA-free ways of leaving a piece of yourself here on Earth after you die, like planting a tree, getting a street named after you or donating all your money to your alma matter.